6 Problems with the Relationship in Phantom of the Opera

So I feel the need to get this off my chest. I love musicals. One of my favorites is Phantom of the Opera. I love the music and the story. But, in looking at Pinterest, I've noticed a rather disturbing trend.
It is ridiculously hard to find someone who doesn't ship Christine with the Phantom. Nearly everyone argues that he's lonely and misunderstood. Yes, maybe he is. But that doesn't make him Christine's responsibility. Here are the top 6 reasons why I find this trend problematic.
1- First and foremost, this is not a healthy relationship, on so many levels.
Last time I watched the movie, I took note of whenever the Phantom was manipulative or controlling. My total came to eighty times. That's not counting the things that are just creepy, like hanging out in her dressing room mirror (let that sink in for a minute) or having a mannequin of Christine in a wedding dress. If you average that out, it makes the Phantom manipulating or controlling someone every one and a half minutes. On one occasion, the Phantom hits her and shoves her to the ground for taking his mask off. I get it. It's a touchy subject. But for heaven's sake, it's very rarely okay to hit anyone. It is NEVER okay to hit the person you're in a relationship with, unless it's in self-defense, in which case I'd question the wisdom of remaining in that relationship.
2- I don't care what you say. The Phantom does not love Christine.
This is another case that I see a lot. But let me make this very clear. The Phantom lusts after Christine. He does not love her. The Phantom makes it clear that what he wants comes first. He tried to kill her fiance, for crying out loud. Love understands that sometimes what you want need to take a backseat to what someone else wants. If the Phantom loved Christine, her would accept that she chose Raoul and is happier that way. If you want to see unrequited love in a musical, look at Eponine and Marius from Les Mis. Eponine lets Marius love Cosette, even if it kills her (sorry, couldn't resist). She respects that Marius deserves to be happy with whoever he chooses. She remains kind to him and helps him. That is love. Contrast that to the Phantom, who kidnaps her and tries to force her to marry him.
I'd also like to take a moment to point out that the Phantom acts like the lake is too deep to wade in until he's confident Christine will not leave. He let her believe she was trapped. That is not love.
3- Can we take a minute to discuss the ew factor?
Madame Girry says at the very beginning that Christine came to live at the opera house after her father died, when she was seven years old. Ever since then, the Phantom has been communicating with her, pretending to be her father. She was seven. Years. Old. The Phantom is a bit younger than Madame Girry, her best friend's mother. Conclusion- the Phantom is old enough to be Christine's father, and has had his eye on her since she was a young child. Then the Phantom tried to begin their relationship by saying he's her dead father, which is both a cruel lie and disgusting.
4- His past does not excuse his behavior.
I understand this. The Phantom was abused. He had a terrible childhood. But that does not make his behavior okay. I've done some research, and I believe that the Phantom could be diagnosed as a sociopath (caused by childhood trauma or abuse, disregard for laws and social rules, disregard for others' rights, volatile, prone to emotional outbursts, etc. If anyone want to hear it, I will explain my reasoning more fully.) But he still needs to be punished for his crimes. His happiness is not Christine's responsibility. Her responsibility is her safety, and she does a terrible job at standing up for herself.
5- The Phantom is a terrible example.
This is honestly the thing that scares me most. I'm going on the assumption that a large portion of the Phantom of the Opera fandom is female, based on whose pins I've seen. The Phantom's behavior is not romantic. And it's dangerous to present it as such. I scares me how many pins I've seen saying things along the lines of, "If a masked man appears in your dressing room mirror, you should follow him into his lair." The comments on these are overwhelmingly in support of the Phantom. How many girls (and guys) are going to get into relationships and think that that is romantic? How many people will tolerate their dehumanization because there's a romantic musical that portrays it as okay?
6- Still not convinced? Take direct quotes.
"My power over you grows stronger yet." This is one of the first things the Phantom says to Christine. Am I really the only one who recognizes how harmful that is?
"The Angel of Music is very strict." Christine says this when discussing the Phantom. I'd just like to take a minute to point out that trying to control every aspect of someone's life is an early warning sign of an abusive relationship.
"Only then can you belong to me." I really don't think this needs explanation.
"D*** you! You little prying Pandora! You little demon, Is this what you wanted to see? Curse you, you little lying Delilah! You little viper! Now you cannot ever be free!" This is where he hits her. This is not healthy.
"You will curse the day you did not do all that the Phantom asked of you!" Can I make it any more clear that the Phantom does not respect Christine?
P.S. I haven't even brought up the sequel, Love Never Dies. If you ever want to get angry, read the Wikipedia synopsis. 

 

Lessons from Finding Neverland: Write from the Heart

     I've recently discovered an amazing new musical called Finding Neverland. It's centered around J.M. Barrie's journey as he wrote Peter Pan. As a writer, I was immediately drawn into his struggle of finding ideas, and aside from being a fabulously entertaining soundtrack, I think it carries a real message for writers.
     The musical is about J.M. Barrie finding the inspiration for and writing Peter Pan, despite growing personal problems, a lack of inspiration, and no one believing that the play will ever sell. The plot revolves around Barrie choosing to write what he's passionate about, rather than what the crowd wants.
     In the beginning, Barrie "[Hasn't] had a new idea in years." He meets a family of four young boys and their widowed mother, and uses their imaginative games to inspire a far-off, idyllic world called Neverland. He frequently tells the boys how the world is far more than meets the eye, and that imagination is the key to living.
      After having Peter Pan initially rejected by his producer, Barrie must decide whether to follow the story he's passionate about. In what sounds like a dream scene, his "Dark Side" talks to him, saying, "You have to use your pen for something other than satisfying them." It inspires him to keep going, and despite many criticisms and discouragements, he manages to make his play a success.

     In addition to being an inspiring story about following your heart, there are a few very interesting ideas about writing through doubt. Many scenes in Peter Pan are inspired by Barrie's games with the boys, including the pirates, mermaids, and crocodile.
     Another bit I found fascinating was that Barrie's "dark side" said to write a part for him. It eventually became Captain Hook. It reminded me of something I read somewhere about writing your villain around what you hoped you'd never become. I loved that the moment I read it. We don't like to imagine ourselves as the villain. But it can make a truly amazing antagonist to give him/her some of your own traits.
     I also noticed that Barrie had problems with writer's block whenever he tried to write for the crowd. I've mentioned earlier that forcing a character to do something they don't want to will block you. Remember not to do the same thing to yourself.
     This has kind of become a rambling thing, and I'm not certain of how best to conclude. I definitely recommend finding the soundtrack. It's inspired me. And even if you never listen to a single song of it, I hope you'll remember that no matter how few people believe in you, how discouraged you get, there is always someone who will recognize the passion in your work. When you write from your heart, that shows in your writing. When you love your story, it opens the gate for others to love it, too.