6 Problems with the Relationship in Phantom of the Opera

So I feel the need to get this off my chest. I love musicals. One of my favorites is Phantom of the Opera. I love the music and the story. But, in looking at Pinterest, I've noticed a rather disturbing trend.
It is ridiculously hard to find someone who doesn't ship Christine with the Phantom. Nearly everyone argues that he's lonely and misunderstood. Yes, maybe he is. But that doesn't make him Christine's responsibility. Here are the top 6 reasons why I find this trend problematic.
1- First and foremost, this is not a healthy relationship, on so many levels.
Last time I watched the movie, I took note of whenever the Phantom was manipulative or controlling. My total came to eighty times. That's not counting the things that are just creepy, like hanging out in her dressing room mirror (let that sink in for a minute) or having a mannequin of Christine in a wedding dress. If you average that out, it makes the Phantom manipulating or controlling someone every one and a half minutes. On one occasion, the Phantom hits her and shoves her to the ground for taking his mask off. I get it. It's a touchy subject. But for heaven's sake, it's very rarely okay to hit anyone. It is NEVER okay to hit the person you're in a relationship with, unless it's in self-defense, in which case I'd question the wisdom of remaining in that relationship.
2- I don't care what you say. The Phantom does not love Christine.
This is another case that I see a lot. But let me make this very clear. The Phantom lusts after Christine. He does not love her. The Phantom makes it clear that what he wants comes first. He tried to kill her fiance, for crying out loud. Love understands that sometimes what you want need to take a backseat to what someone else wants. If the Phantom loved Christine, her would accept that she chose Raoul and is happier that way. If you want to see unrequited love in a musical, look at Eponine and Marius from Les Mis. Eponine lets Marius love Cosette, even if it kills her (sorry, couldn't resist). She respects that Marius deserves to be happy with whoever he chooses. She remains kind to him and helps him. That is love. Contrast that to the Phantom, who kidnaps her and tries to force her to marry him.
I'd also like to take a moment to point out that the Phantom acts like the lake is too deep to wade in until he's confident Christine will not leave. He let her believe she was trapped. That is not love.
3- Can we take a minute to discuss the ew factor?
Madame Girry says at the very beginning that Christine came to live at the opera house after her father died, when she was seven years old. Ever since then, the Phantom has been communicating with her, pretending to be her father. She was seven. Years. Old. The Phantom is a bit younger than Madame Girry, her best friend's mother. Conclusion- the Phantom is old enough to be Christine's father, and has had his eye on her since she was a young child. Then the Phantom tried to begin their relationship by saying he's her dead father, which is both a cruel lie and disgusting.
4- His past does not excuse his behavior.
I understand this. The Phantom was abused. He had a terrible childhood. But that does not make his behavior okay. I've done some research, and I believe that the Phantom could be diagnosed as a sociopath (caused by childhood trauma or abuse, disregard for laws and social rules, disregard for others' rights, volatile, prone to emotional outbursts, etc. If anyone want to hear it, I will explain my reasoning more fully.) But he still needs to be punished for his crimes. His happiness is not Christine's responsibility. Her responsibility is her safety, and she does a terrible job at standing up for herself.
5- The Phantom is a terrible example.
This is honestly the thing that scares me most. I'm going on the assumption that a large portion of the Phantom of the Opera fandom is female, based on whose pins I've seen. The Phantom's behavior is not romantic. And it's dangerous to present it as such. I scares me how many pins I've seen saying things along the lines of, "If a masked man appears in your dressing room mirror, you should follow him into his lair." The comments on these are overwhelmingly in support of the Phantom. How many girls (and guys) are going to get into relationships and think that that is romantic? How many people will tolerate their dehumanization because there's a romantic musical that portrays it as okay?
6- Still not convinced? Take direct quotes.
"My power over you grows stronger yet." This is one of the first things the Phantom says to Christine. Am I really the only one who recognizes how harmful that is?
"The Angel of Music is very strict." Christine says this when discussing the Phantom. I'd just like to take a minute to point out that trying to control every aspect of someone's life is an early warning sign of an abusive relationship.
"Only then can you belong to me." I really don't think this needs explanation.
"D*** you! You little prying Pandora! You little demon, Is this what you wanted to see? Curse you, you little lying Delilah! You little viper! Now you cannot ever be free!" This is where he hits her. This is not healthy.
"You will curse the day you did not do all that the Phantom asked of you!" Can I make it any more clear that the Phantom does not respect Christine?
P.S. I haven't even brought up the sequel, Love Never Dies. If you ever want to get angry, read the Wikipedia synopsis. 

 

Keeping the Balance- School vs. Writing

       Before I even start, I want to make it clear that I am by no means an expert at balancing anything, much less schoolwork with writing. This is kind of going to be a maybe-this-will-work-for-both-of-us kind of post, because I'm still figuring it out, too.
      Disclaimer aside, it's getting to be that time of year. I don't know when all of you start school, but I'm going back Thursday to start my junior year of high school. And while I'm excited for the classes, I'm also trying to figure out how I'll balance my writing with my grades, because, as annoying as they are, grades kind of are important.
      This is also the first year I'll be editing one novel and writing another, so I've been trying to figure out how to balance work between those.
      My tentative plan is to plan three tasks a day at the beginning of the week. On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I'll edit Dragonchild. On Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, I'll write my as-of-yet-unnamed WIP. I'm not setting any tasks Sunday so I can focus on church and family that day.
      These tasks are to be completed during free time at school, after-school activities, and home. As little as I usually want to write, I like math even less, so I'd get a lot of writing done while I was supposed to be doing homework, but there's kind of an obvious pitfall to that. So, I'm going to adopt my writing sit-your-butt-down-in-the-chair-and-get-it-over-with policy. Also, pretending to do vital research for the Doctor. . . That always helps.
      Another balance I need to find is how hard to push myself. That's where the tasks come in. I assign myself three a day, planning at the beginning of the week. Since I haven't done as much writing as I intended this summer, I'm starting small and working my way up-- Tuesday involves worldbuilding and 200 words, Thursday character development and 250 words, and so on. I'm only setting two tasks Fridays and Saturdays so that every week, I write a blog post one day and save EVERYTHING to Dropbox the other.
     I really have no idea if this is going to work, but it's my plan, and even if it doesn't help me, it might help you. Also, having it on the internet for people to see might give me more motivation.
     The main thing is the same thing you need to remember when you don't want to write-- you won't want to do your schoolwork, but it's got to get done. Maybe you could pretend to be doing research or something. I don't know. But I'm convinced that the universe hinges on balance, from the placement of planets to the details of managing everyday obligations. Writing and school are very important. You need both. Just make sure to take some time for yourself, too. Burning out won't help anything.
     So, what do you all think of my plan? When does your school start? How are you going to balance writing with school and everything else? Let me know in the comments!

Lessons from Finding Neverland: Write from the Heart

     I've recently discovered an amazing new musical called Finding Neverland. It's centered around J.M. Barrie's journey as he wrote Peter Pan. As a writer, I was immediately drawn into his struggle of finding ideas, and aside from being a fabulously entertaining soundtrack, I think it carries a real message for writers.
     The musical is about J.M. Barrie finding the inspiration for and writing Peter Pan, despite growing personal problems, a lack of inspiration, and no one believing that the play will ever sell. The plot revolves around Barrie choosing to write what he's passionate about, rather than what the crowd wants.
     In the beginning, Barrie "[Hasn't] had a new idea in years." He meets a family of four young boys and their widowed mother, and uses their imaginative games to inspire a far-off, idyllic world called Neverland. He frequently tells the boys how the world is far more than meets the eye, and that imagination is the key to living.
      After having Peter Pan initially rejected by his producer, Barrie must decide whether to follow the story he's passionate about. In what sounds like a dream scene, his "Dark Side" talks to him, saying, "You have to use your pen for something other than satisfying them." It inspires him to keep going, and despite many criticisms and discouragements, he manages to make his play a success.

     In addition to being an inspiring story about following your heart, there are a few very interesting ideas about writing through doubt. Many scenes in Peter Pan are inspired by Barrie's games with the boys, including the pirates, mermaids, and crocodile.
     Another bit I found fascinating was that Barrie's "dark side" said to write a part for him. It eventually became Captain Hook. It reminded me of something I read somewhere about writing your villain around what you hoped you'd never become. I loved that the moment I read it. We don't like to imagine ourselves as the villain. But it can make a truly amazing antagonist to give him/her some of your own traits.
     I also noticed that Barrie had problems with writer's block whenever he tried to write for the crowd. I've mentioned earlier that forcing a character to do something they don't want to will block you. Remember not to do the same thing to yourself.
     This has kind of become a rambling thing, and I'm not certain of how best to conclude. I definitely recommend finding the soundtrack. It's inspired me. And even if you never listen to a single song of it, I hope you'll remember that no matter how few people believe in you, how discouraged you get, there is always someone who will recognize the passion in your work. When you write from your heart, that shows in your writing. When you love your story, it opens the gate for others to love it, too.

Utopia

     For a blog that's supposed to be about writing, I do a lot of not-writing posts. At the same time, I want to write what I want to write. I want to write about what I want to say, what I want to tell people. So, today, I'm writing about Utopia.
     Unless you've been living under a rock, I'm sure you've heard of all the shootings lately in America, all of the tension and the hate. It feels like the flag is at half-staff more often than not. Add to that all of the foreign problems, and it feels like humanity is imploding on itself. Like we're an old wooden house, depending on a few cracking beams to stay upright. It's overwhelming to think of the future, all the problems my generation is going to have to live with and fix. I'm watching history unfold, and it seems like it's overwhelmingly negative. All of a sudden, some dystopian novels seem less impossible.
    With all this going on, it makes me think of the flip side-- utopia. How could we make a perfect society? A world where everyone gets what they need, where there's no reason for violence. Where we can just talk out disagreements instead of going to war over them first. Where we don't have to worry about whose land or country is whose. Why do we draw all these lines? We draw them on the earth, in our air and water, and between ourselves. And then we treat them as absolute, and we treat people who live within different sets of lines like they're not people. Yes, we have come light years from the social views of the eighteen-hundreds, but we can never forget how far we still have to go.
    I've already decided against ever trying to implement some huge system. I trust myself to have good intentions, but good intentions can easily pave the way to bad implementation. I wouldn't trust anyone with a large system to create utopia. If we're going to be better, we have to work on an individual level.
    I've thought about it a lot, and I've decided that the biggest obstacle to a perfect world is selfishness. That's why we can't have all resources be free-- we can't trust ourselves and others not to take more than they need. We live our whole lives trying to have more. And we end up with people who have so much excess, they can't even count it, and we end up with people trying to survive without the most basic needs.
    I guess what I'm trying to say is that, so long as human beings remain selfish, utopia can't exist. And we can't just remove selfishness. But. We can help ease the problem. Each and every one of us can choose to be selfless. I'm not even talking about Divergent-Abnegation selfless. I'm talking about doing just one thing every day to help someone, even if it's not convenient for you. I'm talking about understanding what we don't need, and giving our excess to people who need it far more. I'm talking about ignoring those lines I was talking about. I honestly believe that if we spent half as much time trying to understand each other as we do judging and stereotyping and hating, the world will be a far better place.
     I know this post won't reach the entire world. I know my words won't change the course of history, or stop all the violence around the world, or end all suffering. I accept that. But if I can make life better for just one person, I will have changed the world. If five people, including myself, see this post and try to do something for others once a day, then in one year, 1825 days will have been brightened. In five years, the number grows to 9125. That's nearly ten thousand. So please, for the love of the human race, give it a try. You might be surprised.

Hufflepuffs are not Potatoes

    Wow. I kind of forget that people actually look at this, and that it isn't some isolated exercise to try to get me to meet deadlines (it's not working so far). And then I look and eight people have seen my blog this week and... wow. That is cool. And a little scary. And a reminder that I really should try to post more often.
     So, in my quest to post more often, I'm writing today about a topic near and dear to my heart-- Hogwarts houses (again). Because it's largely ignored, today I'm going to talk about Hufflepuff.
    The first thing I want to say about Hufflepuff is summed up in this quote by Queen Rowling herself- "This may surprise people, but Hufflepuff is my favorite house. There comes a point in the final book where each house has the choice whether or not to rise to a certain challenge... the Slytherins, for reasons that are understandable, decide they'd rather not play. The Ravenclaws: some decide they will, some decide they won't. The Hufflepuffs, virtually to a person, stay- as do the Gryffindors. Now, the Gryffindors comprise a lot of fool-hardy and show-offy people. That's just the way it is. I'm a Gryffindor, I'm allowed to say it. There's bravery and there's showboating, and sometimes the two go together. The Hufflepuffs stayed for a different reason. They weren't trying to show off. They weren't being reckless. That's the essence of Hufflepuff House. Now my oldest child, my daughter Jessica, said something very profound to me not very many days ago, actually. She said to me-- and she, by the way, was not sorted into Hufflepuff house-- but she said to me, "I think we should all want to be Hufflepuffs." I can only say to you that I would not be at all disappointed to be sorted into Hufflepuff house. So I'm a little upset that anyone does feel that way."
     I have very strong feelings about Hufflepuff, and, in particular, that it is not the potato house.
     HUFFLEPUFF IS NOT THE POTATO HOUSE.
     Hufflepuff is full of the people who have their priorities sorted out. Hufflepuffs are the ones who are brave enough to fight, but understand that sometimes the greater difference is made by caring for the wounded. It's the ones who are intelligent and creative, but care more about helping the people around them than simply studying and thinking, who think that their knowledge is worthless if they can't use it for good. They're the ones who have huge goals and the cunning and ability to reach them, but would NEVER EVER step on someone else to do it, people who will take the long, hard way over the short, easy one. Remember "those patient Hufflepuffs are true and unafraid of toil?" Hufflepuffs are hardworking, and caring, and really excellent people. And they're so much more. My youngest sister is a Hufflepuff. She's also a born performer, ready to make people laugh at any opportunity. One of my best friends is a Hufflepuff with a deep love for art and a dark sense of humor.
    My point is, Hufflepuffs may be friendly and accommodating. That's not an excuse for you to ignore them or make them the butt of your jokes. And, for the love of all that is good and holy, stop calling them the potato house. Learn from them. Admire their strengths. The four houses show four values, but they are not mutually exclusive. And of all the values the houses show, I think Hufflepuff is the most important. In fact, if we all tried to have a little more Hufflepuff in our lives, I honestly believe the world would be a better place.
    I suppose this has turned into a series now, so I may as well do the other houses at some point. I won't promise when, but probably sometime by the end of this year, I'll also discuss Slytherins and Gryffindors. In the meantime, what do you guys think? Which houses are you in, and do you agree with my assessment of Hufflepuff? Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments!

Keeping Organized: The Writing Binder

      I thought about making a post about the most essential tools a writer could need (other than, say, an imagination). But, when it came to thinking about which tools I really couldn't function without, my mind kept coming back to one. So today, I'm going to be covering how I made and organized my binder. You can follow it step by step, or disregard it entirely, but I hope it'll at least give you some ideas.

      My binder is just an old, kind of beat-up two inch binder (it might be three; I'm not good with estimating measurements). I've put some scrapbook paper in to decorate, along with a few quotes I like. The front pocket holds random papers that aren't related to writing or are short-term storage. During the school year, it usually has important school papers, since it's the only binder I make sure to keep track of. I also keep a pencil pouch with pencils and pens and sometimes sticky notes and random scraps of paper.

     Inside, the first two sections are for my current WIPs. I use those folder divider thingies with pockets to hold papers that I haven't punched holes in yet. In each section, I have a clear sleeve with reference images, then my character sheets, then worldbuilding, then plot. I have a few sticky notes stuck throughout it, with little ideas relevant to that area.
     The next section is entitled "Other Stories," and contains partially developed snippets, some creative writing assignments from school with bits I could use at some point, and some of my old writing. When I feel bad about my writing, I pull out "Lightning Speed Animal Rescuers" from second grade. It makes me feel better about how far I've come.
     After Other Stories I have Reference. I have character development tools, body language keys, a lifesaving chart on realistic travel (it's on Pinterest here), limits of the human body (here), a list of all the people whose MBTI types I know in case I have a question. . .really, just a random assemblage of things I can reference without wi-fi.
      After that, I have For Copying. These are blank copies of my character and worldbuilding worksheets to copy so I don't have to track down the links every time I run out.
      Next is Conference Notes. That's where I keep my notes from writing conferences, and I reference them quite often. This section tends to grow in large bursts, since I don't have many writing conferences nearby, but when I can go, I usually get over twenty pages of notes (to be fair, some of these are five lines of WHAT EVEN when the presenter has brought up a really interesting point.).
      My last section is unnamed, but has blank character sheets and a LOT of lined paper for when I need it. This is helpful, both in writing and at school (once again, this being the only binder I keep track of.)
     I've kept this binder for about a year now, and it's grown and developed with my needs. I can always get a bigger binder if I need more room, and the tags on the dividers let me switch out WIPs or create new sections when I need to. It's my slightly-larger-than-pocket-size Pinterest for when I don't have wi-fi , plus it keeps me focused. Having all my information about my story in one place makes it much easier to access while I'm writing, too. This may not work for some writers, but for me, it's the best organizational tool out there.
    What do you usually use to organize your story papers? I'd love to hear from you, so go ahead and comment!

Writing Characters with Anxiety

 

    As far as we've come in terms of mental health awareness, we are still hugely lacking in some things, including representing characters with mental illness in fiction. Even when we do see characters with mental illness, they're often in stories about having mental illness. We need more characters who have mental illnesses that affect their stories, but aren't the plot of the story. For this reason, I'm going to write a series of blog posts covering mental illness. Since most of my experience is with anxiety, I've decided to start there.
     The first important thing to remember with anxiety is that the symptoms vary. Some people have more severe anxiety than others, and even the same level of anxiety will manifest differently in different people-- or even from situation to situation. Common symptoms include stomachaches, lightheadedness, muscle tension, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, trouble sleeping, and numbness and/or tingling in the extremities.
    These happen because when someone is feeling anxious, their body begins to gear up to protect itself. You've probably heard of the fight-or-flight reaction. Sometimes I think of my anxiety as fight-or-flight gone crazy. When a person has anxiety, their brain will register ordinary things as threats. People have different triggers for anxiety. I feel anxious when plans change suddenly, or when I have to interact with people unexpectedly. Sometimes even anticipating triggers can trigger anxiety. People have all sorts of different triggers. Traveling, conflict (or perceived conflict) in personal relationships, and driving can be triggers. Even little things like standing up in class to sharpen a pencil, or being the first one to stand up to throw away extra food, can trigger anxiety. Sometimes we feel anxious without even knowing why.
      Most of the time, we are completely aware of how irrational our fear is. We're fully aware that to someone without anxiety, our triggers would seem completely normal or even enjoyable. If your character has anxiety, he/she will have developed ways to cope. Sometimes stress balls help. Some people use mindfulness exercises, like keeping a coin or other small trinket to examine and focus on the present. One person I asked said that mint gum helps. I pretend to play the piano on my lap. Breathing exercises can help, too.
      Not everyone with anxiety will have panic attacks, but they do happen. They'll feel different for everyone, but they're never pleasant. Sometimes it'll be hyperventilating. Sometimes it will be sudden anger or irritability. Sometimes it'll be nit-pickiness and hypersensitivity to disorder or a chaotic environment. Sometimes someone will start talking very fast, stuttering and stumbling over words, or not talking at all. I cry. A lot.
     The other things about panic attacks is that sometimes, someone will feel anxious for a long time before. But sometimes, they strike without any warning. Once, I was waiting outside for my mom after a performance. It was night, and there were fireworks, but I felt completely fine. And then, suddenly, I panicked. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. I felt like I was going to die. I was crying and whimpering and felt absolutely pathetic, but any rational thought was sidelined by the panic.
     Attacks range in frequency and severity from person to person. Some people have panic attacks on a daily or weekly basis, and others can go years without having one. And some panic attacks will be easier than others. I once had a panic attack that lasted just a few minutes, just hyperventilating. It wasn't fun, but it was comparatively tame. Even in the same person, it will vary. 
      There are a lot of ways to deal with anxiety. Some people find coping mechanisms that work for them, but sometimes, more help is needed. Some people respond to therapy, others to medication. Some people use a combination. The important thing to remember about medication and therapy is that there is nothing wrong with it. When writing about medication and therapy, the most important thing to remember is to do your research. Therapy varies from doctor to doctor, and medication can have different side effects.
       Really, that's the most important thing with writing about mental illness. Make sure you know what you're talking about. I'd rather read a book that has no characters with anxiety than one that gets it all wrong. I hope that with the information here, and the other resources you can find, you can better write and understand your characters with anxiety.
      What points would you like to add? What other mental disorders would you like me to cover? Let me know in the comments!